Founder of Last Ditch Therapy
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My husband and I fought constantly. We didn't understand that the horrible things we were saying to each other in each fight were slowly destroying our relationship...

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Breaking the Argument Cycle: How to Stop Fighting Without Therapy

“What’s the big deal? I don’t know why you’re so upset. All I said was . . .”
Sound familiar?

Breaking the Argument Cycle is an argument resolution book that teaches couples how to stop arguing. It’s a must-read for all those who’ve ever found themselves arguing again and again, about money, sex, kids, or even a seemingly trivial topic—when, at its core, the conflict is about something completely different. As a longtime licensed marriage family therapist from Santa Rosa, California, Sharon M. Rivkin has helped hundreds of couples fix their relationships by understanding why they fight. Rivkin says, “If you don’t find out why you’re fighting, you’ll never stop.” Here, she shows how anyone can use the tools of therapy to break the cycle of destructive fighting; namely, by resolving the core issues of early arguments, which have their roots in childhood and are repeated over time.

Presenting case histories compiled from her years as a therapist, as well as easy exercises, Rivkin sets forth a simple, three-step argument resolution system: Peel, Reveal, Heal—the First Argument Technique—that empowers couples to identify and resolve their core issues themselves, shedding light on what they’re really arguing about. This is followed up with effective healing exercises and tools for long-lasting change. The First Argument Technique is also an absolute must-use tool for affairs in marriage, which includes learning where the seeds of the conflict started that are now being acted out in an affair; understanding why you were the last to know; dealing and coping with a cheating spouse; how to survive an affair; forgiveness after an affair; and trusting and recovering from infidelity.

By using the First Argument Technique, the three-step argument resolution system that breaks the argument cycle, confusion and chaos turn into clarity and healing—and everyone can learn how and why they get hooked into an argument, how to recognize the hot buttons and unhook, and how to develop lasting tools to turn conflict into your best friend… even after years of fighting.

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Marital Infidelity: Your 30-Day Recovery Guide
What to Do if Your Spouse is Cheating

Coming Soon!

“I just found out my spouse is cheating. I feel like I could die.”

Finding out that your spouse has cheated is one of the most devastating relationship traumas that one can face. Why? It's a monumental betrayal and breach of trust from which there is no easy recovery. Also, it puts into question everything about yourself, your partner, and the whole relationship. You wonder if anything was ever real or true.

There are different phases you will experience in the first 30 days after finding out about the affair, and how you approach this life-changing event will either empower you or keep you from moving forward.

This book will provide the necessary framework to:

  • Deal with and get through the shock of the affair in your marriage;
  • Help you navigate through the extreme shifts of emotions and feelings, thus enabling you to get through each hour, each day, and each week;
  • Understand why it happened and what you're going to do next;
  • Take charge of your situation, rather than feeling at the mercy of what your spouse has done;
  • Chart your weekly emotional progress;
  • Start making decisions about yourself and your relationship from a place of empowerment; and
  • Learn about yourself and your spouse in a whole new way.

This book, written by Sharon M. Rivkin, licensed marriage family therapist, specializing in couples counseling, Santa Rosa, California, is a must-read on how to survive an affair and will be the life line you need if you found out your spouse has cheated.


Has Your Partner Become Your Enemy?
How to Resolve Your Fights and Be In Love Again

The top five issues that couples argue about are money, sex, work, children, and housework. But even though couples may be arguing about money or sex, the core of these conflicts is typically about something entirely different. To resolve conflict and break the argument cycle, couples need to get to the root of the problem by revisiting their first argument or relationship disappointment, which is the beginning of the argument cycle. Then, by uncovering the core issue of their first argument by using Sharon’s 3-step First Argument Technique of peel, reveal, heal, couples will see that the root of their arguments is in their childhoods, and it’s the underlying reason for all the fights that follow, no matter what the fight is about.

Whenever your core childhood issue gets triggered, you want to fight, because you’ve been hurt just like when you were a child.

Understanding each other's core issue allows you to understand your partner, what triggers them, and what is hard for them. You can empathize with them and not take everything so personally. You can have compassion and build intimacy, rather than distrust and distance. You’ll finally learn how to stop arguing and how to break destructive and unending argument patterns, by using tools for effective argument resolution.

Good, lasting marriages are made up of two conscious individuals who have the desire to work on themselves, with the determination to address and resolve issues when they come up in their marriage. This quick, yet comprehensive must-read will give you the information you need to immediately start resolving your fights, with never-before-heard-of exercises and tools that will be all you need for future argument resolution. So if your partner has become your enemy, let Sharon M. Rivkin, family and marriage counselor in Santa Rosa, California, show you how to bring back the love into your relationship.

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